You Jump, I Jump

One thing you should probably know about me is that I am ridiculously obsessed with the movie Titanic. I don't have cable, and I've only got about 20 movies in my apartment, and Titanic is one of them, so suffice to say, it's on a lot. Often, if there's nothing else going on, I'll just put it on and let it play in the background while I cook, or clean, or do homework. It's on right now. If you're reading this and for some reason, you've never seen the film, stop reading, go and watch it, and then come back.

Aside from the fact that Kate Winslet is one of my favorite actresses of all time, I just love the story. It's all just really beautiful, incredibly touching, and unbearably sad. I can never get through the whole film without crying because there are just so many beautiful, and heartbreaking moments. I love the romantic notion of caring about someone as much as Jack and Rose care about each other. I love the kind of people that they are. I admire their courage.



Quite possibly my favorite moment in the entire film comes towards the end, when Jack and Cal have convinced Rose to get into a lifeboat, and the boat is being lowered into the water. Rose is in the boat, she's safe. She'll survive, and she'll be okay. But that's not good enough. Surviving is not good enough. Instead of staying where she knows she'll be safe, she risks everything. She gets up, and she jumps from the lifeboat, from safety, from the closest thing she's got to a guarantee of surviving. She jumps back onto the sinking ship.

And I cry every single time I watch her do it.

I cry because it's romantic. I cry because it's tragic. And I cry because she's right; surviving is not good enough.

Life is not about surviving. Life is about living. And sometimes living means jumping out of your lifeboat, and doing something that is a genuinely stupid idea. I have spent my whole life sitting in that lifeboat looking back at chances I wish I had taken fade away. I have chosen to protect myself, and so I have sat there in that lifeboat, safe, secure, and alone. And you know what? I'll survive if I don't jump. I'll be okay. But you know what else?

Jumping out of that lifeboat might just be the best thing I ever did for myself.

I'm not saying that we should all run around and do things that are dangerous and reckless - that's not what I mean at all. What I mean is that sometimes, we have to give up the guarantee at surviving to have a chance at living. We all have the ability to go through life safely. We can take fewer risks, and we can get through relatively unscathed. We can get in the lifeboat, with the hopes that we'll never be hurt, or we can jump, accepting the fact that we will be hurt, and deciding that maybe there's something else that is more important.

It reminds me of a line from the movie Hitch. I forget the exact words, but it's something along the lines of "That's what people do - they jump, and hope they can fly, because if they can't, they fall the whole way down thinking 'Why in the hell did I jump?'"

I didn't jump because I thought it was a smart idea. I didn't jump because I thought it would keep me safe. I jumped because I'd rather know happiness for a little while, and deal with the pain when it comes. I jumped because from where I'm standing, it's worth it. And I am willing to accept the fact that someday, I might be the one wondering why the hell I jumped.

Can you think of a time when you jumped out of your metaphorical lifeboat? Do you tend to play it safe, or are you more of a risk-taker? Do you think we should play it safe more often, or do you think we should take more chances?
Love and Kisses,

Tears At Work (I'm THAT Girl)

Can I just say thank you to Charlee, Rosemarie, Jamie, Ruggy, Classy in Philly and Lolita? I love you with all my heart! The response time was immediate and I just checked my post from work and my heart just exploded! You guys are amazing and I especially want to give *hugs and kisses* to Rosie and Classy in Philly for always ALWAYS give me your love and 2 cents.

God didn't take this man away from me to punish me. God took him away from me to give me something so much better.

I cried when I read this at work...

"The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

'Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?'

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

'A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.'

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath . Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, 'Do you love me?'

'Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you.'

'Then give me your pearls.'

'Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite.'

'That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night.' And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, 'Do you love me?'

'Daddy, you know I love you.'

'Then give me your pearls..'

'Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll . The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.'

'That's okay. Sleep well... God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you'
And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style...

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

'What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?'

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy.. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace . With a little quiver, she finally said, 'Here, daddy; this is for you.'

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.

God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place. "


Tears. Brought me to tears. I guess it just goes to show, that there is a silver lining. You just have to have faith.

To Do's, Kitty Litter, & Cleaning

Cleaning the apartment, getting ready for school to begin again (GO Masters!). Sorry about the lack of 'good' post quality. It will return again, I love the feedback I'm getting. You guys are great and I love hearing your responses.

I'll leave you with this. I didn't get a chance to go to church this week, but I think we all need to stop and take a second, regardless if we are believers are not to realize that 'someone' is looking out for us. Whether you believe it is mother earth, or Buddha, or your grandmother, or God - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I challenge you to accomplish just 2 things on your To Do list today. It will make the start of the week go by much more seamlessly. I'm going to do some pilates DVDs, get ready for school to start this week and clean my ENTIRE house!

Embrace boring days to clear your head, make lists, do some ironing? (I never get to iron my work pants). And I have been dying to try this new face mask out. It's made of *kitty litter*!

I know it sounds gross, but really, all kitty litter is, is volcanic ash that is cooled and turned into clay! Below is the video that inspired me to try this, and hey, if there is nothing else going on right now in your life- try it out! The author is MichellePhan and she has so many great videos and tips!

Here are my favorites:

Kitty Litter Detox Mask



Get the Most out of your Expensive Lip Glosses



Took me a while to get used to her voice, LOL, but after a while it is very soothing!

I'll be trying the mask out today, so let me know if you tried and liked it!

Love you ALL!!

A Little In-shape-spiration

There isn't much to this post, other than my January 9th Resolution is to look as smokin' as my favorite funny hunny, Jenny McCarthy. DAMN GIRL! Autism awareness, mother, girlfriend, and that bod?

Anyone want to take a run with me?