Snag your Man "The Celeb Way"

So none of my family really knows about this new guy in my life - only ONE girlfriend. No coworkers, no updates on Facebook/Myspace (don't participate in them), not mommy not daddy - He's my DIRTY Little Secret. And - I have to tell you it feels really nice. There is no pressure to impress anyone with the current standings of our courtship or the fact that he got me a dinky gift that my aunt doesn't see fit (when I really adore it's thought).

Is dating in secret, they way celebrities date - the healthiest way to cultivate a true RELATIONSHIP between the two of you? Is this the new way to date?

"Elle, who's that you're with? Are you two together? How's the sex? Is he taken?"

"Sorry, no comment. Some things you have to leave to the imagination. He's - uh.. a friend."

"Dating Quietly". Hmmm? Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo seem to be doing just fine, although the first part of their relationship was done in secret. Jen Aniston and John Mayer are engaged, but refused to expose their relationship until there was a solid foundation. For once - can something good come out of the Hollywood Hills? You can jinx a relationship by defining its' boundaries way too prematurely. Labels only act as binding mechanisms which generally make men run as fast as they can! The only binding they ever want to participate in involves bedposts.

If you really think about it, in love stories/movies/books/cliches - the sweetest and truest relationships are between best friends. People who feel no pressure to be with each other, but they simply enjoy each others' company and humor with no stress!

So why even call him your boyfriend? Mr. Tattoos is the sweetest bad boy I have ever met in my life, but if the union isn't strong enough in a month or so to withstand the intense presure of 'boyfriend and girlfriend', it'll crack. That doesn't necessarily mean it will crumble - but it won't be AS firm and supportive. (His butt looks firm. And I am his #1 Supporter of all those hours he logs in the gym doing squats - ahh, sorry, side tracked! I'm an ASS MAN if you can't already tell! LOL)

It will probably be hard to apply the brakes when I am falling so hard for this yummy snack, BUT I want to take this SUPER slow and really get to know him, and show him how FABULOUS I can be without all the pressure on his side. By the time he realizes my charms, he'll WANT to put the pressure on! I don't mean for this to sound like games, it's more like "Male Strategizing".

I can deal with HUSH HUSH. Let's give em something to talk about! *Me-oW* I want to develop a connection, or at least a good friendship (If all else fails, he's a great guy to fool around with) <---- I meant "joke around/laugh/play" by that, however I thought I would leave the aforementioned phrasing in tact for your own pleasure.

How do you feel about the "Celeb Way" to start dating a man? Does it merely give him the opportunity to abuse the lack of boundaries you intentionally left undrawn? Any personal experiences or remarks?

Hit me with your best shot! I'll post my favorites in upcoming posts!!


Liana said...

i say keep people out until youre sure. why get everyone involved and have them looking out for you and giving their 2cents before you even know how you feel! plus think of how fun it will be to sneak around ;)

adlibby said...

Yeah baby! Sneaky sounds sexy! I had a man I kept on the QT for awhile. He was younger and I was maybe a wee bit embarassed about it. But I loved having him all to myself and there was no pressure from anyone. Enjoy!

adlibby said...

okay... I feel the need to clarify that was BEFORE I met my husband! If it were otherwise, that would NOT be cool.

The Fabulous Life of a Southern Belle said...

You are cute as a button and I love your blog, I'm so following!

Elle said...

Ah thanks so much Southern Belle! I'm glad the crazy thoughts in my head are a good form of entertainment!

I love hearing from you guys!

Rosemarie said...

The Celeb Way is definitely the way..

No pressure to impress anyone is right! You can enjoy your time together and totally rule out the idea of this one not liking him, and that one's unnecessary comments because face it.. everyone gives their opinion especially when they're jealous or just plain bored!

He's - uh.. a friend is what I'm sticking to with Smiley! No expectations.. just lots of fun.

P.S. I replied to your comment about Mr. 16 on my blog! Thank you for the boost!

Elle said...

No prob chica! Don't you love thinking like a man!

Rosemarie said...

BTW - You need to stop by my Blog like ASAP - There's an Award with your name on it! xoxo

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Oh my goodness, I didn't know that Jen and John are engaged! I'm so sad now, is this old news?

I just came across your blog from "Just Moi's" blog, and I think you're absolutely adorable!

I think dating on the hush hush is a great idea for the beginning. I never tell my family especially about someone until it's serious and worth telling them!

Elle said...

Classy in Philly: Thanks so much for your lovin'! & Thanks for the advice!

Lex said...

i think that keeping it 'low-pro' is definitely a good idea... I mean, look at how publicized JLo & Ben Affleck were, and what a train wreck that is.

Eventually the truth would get exposed, but I think in the beginning the secrecy is more fun, exciting, and there's no stress from family/friends, etc.

Marissa said...

I am LOVING your blog! Can't wait to read more!

I think there's something really nice about keeping things quiet for a while. Like you said, you get to forgo everyone else's opinion, and really decide for yourself. It's a good way to learn to trust your instincts. That being said, if you keep it quiet for too long, you risk alienating your friends and family, and they will resent that and might be less likely to accept your relationship.

Anonymous said...

Hey I've tagged you on my blog!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Under the radar is definitely sexy. I like that you can get to know someone on your own terms and not have the judgment of friends and family interfere with how you really feel.

My sister said some pretty derogatory things about my boyfriend that maybe would've killed the relationship if we hadn't already been dating for a couple months. I've been married to that same guy for 10 years now.... :)

metamorphosis said...

I'm actually in a similar situation. It started out as friends having fun. And we have SO much fun together! The problem (or not a problem) is that he is so much fun and so affectionate, that I couldn't help but kiss him one night. A week later we took it to the next level. It left me confused for a few days, mainly because I knew if we "officially" became boyfriend and girlfriend, and it didn't work out, the relationship we had as friends would never be the same. I had to confront him about my feelings and supposedly he understood. So basically we're "friends with benefits" now. He introduces me as his "friend" but treats me like his girlfriend pretty much all the time. AND I don't feel the pressures of girlfriend status, which is nice! So far it's working out just fine, and I'm happy with where it's at. Hopefully he is too, since he IS getting the benefits without the pressure! So, in a nutshell, it can be great long as there's some maturity and understanding between both parties. Good luck and have fun! Life's too short right?!